Burnt Out

Time = 3:31 PM

Mood = Tired

Music = I Was Born (A Unicorn) by The Unicorns

What I SHOULD be doing = writing my two papers

Random fact about me = Call me Cleopatra, for I am the queen of denial.

Oh man. Let me ask you this: Studies have shown that sitting in a class having somebody talk at you is one of the worst ways for people to learn. And yet our entire educational system is based on this. You go to hear a sermon, and you get one man standing in the front, talking at you. As soon as you start 1st grade, you sit in your desk and have someone talk at you for the next 12 years of your life. And then, if you happen to go on to higher education (I.E. University, College, Trade School), you get to, yes, you guessed it, listen to somebody talk at you.

Personally, I feel like the education system is a little flawed. Okay, actually, really flawed. You sit in class for an hour, (and remember, I'm talking about University now), listening to your professor talk. They don't ask you if you get it. They assume you get it. And rather than encouraging a question, I find that profs treat you like a total imbecile if you, perchance, don't get it. So what are your options? Pray that you're brilliant and understand everything on the first go; Sit in class and PRETEND you're brilliant, only to flunk the assignments, quizzes, tests, and exams that are thrown your way; or you can ask a question in class and be beheld as an idiot by prof and classmate alike. Yeah. That sounds like oodles of fun.

And another issue. All the profs give heavy quantities of homework simultaneously. Logic would suggest that they space out assignments over a long period of time. Or even, you know, have the options for the paper on the syllabus. But nooo. They're control freaks. They don't want you to know what the next assignment is, lest you actually might want to get ahead so that you don't get frazzled and stressed. No, instead, they keep the topics from you til the end, and expect you to write everything at the same time and do a good job. I'm going insane.

And why do they have to assign these at the end of the year? Wouldn't it be better to assign it at the beginning so that people actually learn about the subject matter they're writing about, rather than make it for the end of the year when everybody's scrambling to study for exams in hopes that they don't flunk. I don't really know anybody who would actually retain information in this kind of stress-filled situation.

Grades are made of fail too! I don't want my brain being put to a numerical value! I don't want to be compared to somebody who's a bazillion times smarter than me who writes their papers in a day and gets 90s, or who studies for a day and gets 90s. I don't want to be compared to anybody. I don't get it. Or the fact that scholarships are assigned based on this. Really, I just hate the hierarchy. I hate that somebody has to be able to do one thing well in order to be considered valuable. I think it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter if you see the value in somebody, that doesn't mean they don't have value. Everybody has value in some way, and I hate that there's this hierarchy of values. Nobody really even knows where it came from or why it's here. It's always "they"... well who the fuck is they, and who peed in their cornflakes?

Don't ask me how I'd change it. I start thinking about it and then my brain explodes because I realize that I have absolutely no power to change it. Why, oh why, am I in university again? Guh.

Wish my luck and safety from an imploding brain!